Oofuri~

Today i watched the baseball cartoon~
"Big windup"~
It made me remember of the time i used to hang around with friends...
The time when we all play basketball, practice for the competition..
All team members have only one target...
And we all work hard for it...
The feeling is very warmth...
I miss my secondary school's life...
No Stress...
No Worry...
That is what we call,
Enjoy LIFE...

But the thing i miss the most is,
We practice basketball together...
Shouting at each others...
Making jokes at each other...
That's the life I have during my secondary school...
I miss you all basketball team members...
KaiSern, Clyde, ChunYuen, Eric, KwangWei, and few Juniors...
Thanks for giving me a great memory for my secondary school..
Although there were still many bad stuffs happened, we still managed to solve it..
Work together to solve and achieve a goal...
I like this spirit...
Even though we didn't meet each others frequently this day,
I hope that our friendship and our spirit will never vanished...
Friends Forever!

25/11/2010

hehe...
Firstly, i have to admit...
It was a great day for me after all today...
I get my statistics quiz and assignment back...
What make me shock is~
I get very high marks for quiz 2...
24over25questions~
After that...
I thought i have done wrongly for the assignment and i will lose about 10marks over 30...
What amazing thing happened was~
I get 28 over 30...
Thanks ShunZhi for giving me to take a look how to do the report...
If not, I won't be getting this marks... :)
OH MY GOD!! So damn happy...
I have already pass my statistics... getting 51.5 over 55 mark!! hehee..
(by the way, I'm not showing off..)
Now i aimed for HD!! xD
I have gotten back my account's mark...
The shocking part is quiz 3...
I thought i will fail it...
But at last get a 8.33 over 10 percent... quiet a good mark..
Try to gain HD as well for account...
This semester i must try to get 2HD and 1D!! hiak hiak hiak...
I'm so greedy... ><

But happiness doesn't last long...
hehe....
I won't be sharing the bad part for sure...
Never after today..
I gotta learn to be independent...
I gotta be selfish enough to keep bad news from you all... =P
Thank you Muimui(Cynthia) for concerning... =)
Thank you Grace Ng as well... =)

Anyway, I'm learning to forget bad things in life.. Only to remember the significant one...
If not, I will only recorded my good news in my blog....

EMO goes goes away.... =)

我很想要哭~
但没有眼泪~
我很想要笑~
但没有心情~
我心很酸~
比酸梅还要算了~
我想要给你辣~
但我不能对你这样狠~

那个就deleting就是我很过分的事吗？
我没有做过的事~
你怎样逼我我还是一样的答案~
“没有！”
我想了好老两天~
我头发都快光了！
假如你怀疑我delete的话就跟我讲咯~
你何必收在心里？
你这样来看我~
我很想做了什么亏心事不能告诉人家~
你觉得我做错~
但是我都没有做过~
电脑也会犯错嘛~
你这样来诬赖我~
我不知道我是什么感觉啊~
要生气，其自己吧~
伤心，你这样对我~

没办法~你认为我是那种大骗子~我也不能用电脑来作为我过关的借口~
Blame my own personalities instead of blaming others... I'm Fucking JERK!!Now i know my own value... A damn big liar!
(我爱你我爱得不苦，我只是越来越对自己没有信心了~我越来越觉得自己无用~
为了你，我能付出的，我一定会付出~我能做的，我一定会做~我只是希望你相信我~相信我会改~表看到我这样没有人凭~)

What i have done?

I have broken several promises...
I always remembered the past things.
And seriously I'm a big liar...
Once I lie...
I think of the consequences of telling you the truth....
But i never think of the consequences that i lie..
That's me, Irrational, and now i am trying very hard to change it...
I don't wanna give myself so many excuses...
I just gonna say I'm on my way to the finish line...
I will be the good one...


I deserved what i had done...
Although I still haven't found out what is the critical situation that i had done...
Human behavior:
"My wrong decision is always right at first until someone come to correct my mistake.."
Please correct my mistake...

Staring at the moon... Trying hard to figure out what was happening..
Please lead me the way, to the past...

Hard to bear the Feeling..

I just dont understand what is happening...
Revenge for what i had done?
Forgotten?
Stress?
 NEVER MIND~
As long as i didn't mess up your feeling of facing examination...
Everything is Worthy...

会生气的女人~

我还真是差劲~我做什么都很没用~
尤其关于你的事~
我每次都惹你生气~
觉得很糟糕~
假如在一起了，我会是个不好的男友~
但我有决心想变得更好~
我希望你看到我永远会是脸带微笑的~
我希望你听到我声音时心感觉是甜的~
我希望你听到我消息时会感到开心的~
我会做得最好~
我心里觉得~
会对你发脾气的女生：
都很可爱~
都很可靠~
最重要的是~
都是好女人~
这样才证明你是在以我的一举一动~

我竟我可能不会在做错事~
我竟我可能不会再找借口~
我竟我可能不会再向你说谎~
我竟我可能会为你着想~
我竟我可能不会再惹你生气~
最重要的是我悔记住我给过你的承诺~
我会记着的~

17/11/2010

今天晚上又下雨~
天一冷~
受伤的脚就会疼~
晚上~
不想出去吃晚饭~
今天早餐午餐都吃了面包~
我不打算晚餐也吃面包~
就觉得干脆不要吃了~
我线份讯息给她~
"可以允许我今晚不要吃晚饭吗？"
她就回了一份我很感动，就想要流眼泪的讯息~
"你不要吃的话你就不要和我sms了~"
我意想不到~
就叫我吃些饼干之类的~
我房间只有面包~
假如我在吃下的话~
我三餐就只吃面包了~
她就劝我出去吃~
我也乖乖听话了~
脚痛也去了~
出去吃nasi goreng kampung~
但吃了之后肚子感到很疼~
应该是饿肚子太久了~
反效果~嘻嘻~
管它痛不痛的~
有你的关心，在疼我也能忍~
有你来替我担心，我体会到幸福叻~><
Incentive is something that encourage someone to do a certain task, such as prices and presents.
You are the my incentive to do everything...

我应该是个花痴吧!

我想到我都会笑~
呵呵~

想我是太累了吧...
下午去学校的时候...
我在楼梯跌倒...
还是在我朋友SamanthaChen面前跌倒...
我傻眼...
跌了到...
我整个人blur掉...
她问我,"are you okay?"
我就随便回答她,"okay okay im fine."
其实是顺口说说的...
其实那个时候我痛到~~
无法形容...

我然后硬撑跑到校门...
脚就开始越来越痛了...
痛的脑聪穴...
眼睛一片白一阵子...
呼吸开始困难...
但那个时候...
白色一片我我看见你哦~O.o??
傻眼~
但看见你帮了我不少忙...
呼吸没这样难了...
之后硬撑跑道去teckkiong车...
虽然他叫我在那里等...
硬撑着我那个废脚跑去朋友车...
觉得不好意识让他来载我...

到了MidValley..
我线一封"我扭到脚"的讯息个给你...
然后我就跑了很久...
之后打给你 ...
意图是想要得到你的关心和安慰...
想不到...
你应该没心情吧...
所以你也没放在眼里...
嘻嘻~
>(oo)<
(I thought that you feeling is matter for me than my leg.)
虽然有少许失望...
但我还是比较担心你心情...
我不知道你在想什么~
我不知道你那时是什么心情~
很苦恼~

我现在想...
如果你看到这个的话...
不知道你会想我是个很有心机的人吗?
还是在很会博同情的人?
特地线一份讯息给你为了得到你的安慰关心~
>.<
当时走来走去的时候...
真得很想有你来安慰我...
想要你来关心我...
哈哈..
我心里很像是个很不成熟哦...
但我心里就是这样想要你~
我是花痴吧~=P

关于你的心情...
我一直都在猜测..
我不知道你是有问题的没有~
有问题的话，我想说：

"跟我说你的问题吧...
我想要知道...
想要明白你...
想要了解你的一切人事物...
所以告诉我...
让我update你的消息...
我很在乎~"

如果事物有关遇到我的话...告诉我...我会学习纠正自己~
当你有问题的时候我也会对你说...也让你纠正你自己~

写这个部落各时候的我~
脚是肿到像猪这样~
不能动了~
哈哈~

11/7/2010

Actually i am still confuse..
I dont know whether i had done a right thing or not...

Last 2 days my joke has become a serious thing..
you were

ANGRY

SAD

DISAPPOINTED

with me...
I really didn't mean to hurt you my dear....
I'm sorry...
From the bottom of my heart...
I don't want you to be my mum..
I didn't mean you were annoying in my words...
"It was a misunderstanding..."

Seriously,
I want you to be my girlfriend...
But I would like you to treat me like my mum used to do me...
Give me~

CARE

LOVE

even CONTROL me...

You are my EVERYTHING..
You are my WHOLE WORLD...

Without you...

I lose my ways...

I lose my senses.

I feel alone...

I feel abandoned...

I feel I'm nothing without you...

Now i know...
Her feeling is really matter to me...
I need to care her feeling...
Now I know...
No matter how what a case it is,
You CARE...

I really glad...
You really care about my words....

I'm really really really touched....

I swear...
I will be more understanding...
Knowing you more...
Making you smile at me...

Not angry...

Not sad...

Not disappointment...

I'll TRY!!

As a apology,
I spend my whole last night..
Folding stars...
Sleep at 6am till 730am...
I wrote my apology inside...
Hope that you know that
your feeling
your action
your attitude
TOWARD me...
Is really matter to me...
Hope that you feel my sincerity...

After several days of rational thinking...
I thought that...
The problem is held on me...
Not you..
Not everyone...
It's only on me...

I'm just being too sensitive toward something that happened to you...
I like to know everything happen on you daily.
I just cannot held some "bitter and sour" feelings about the things about the things happen on you...
I just cannot control myself, thinking of you..

I know that myself, is not mature enough...
I have put too much efforts, I think...
I can tell, I really hate to see that WORD on your wall...
(actually I already saw it coincidentally in the bus at Saturday.)
And I try to bear the feeling...
Seem I already said,
"I don't have right to feel jealousy"
I keep on saying it to myself...
I'm just being too sensitive...
hehe...

Hope I will be better as soon as possible... =)

(If you wanna change others thought, convince yourself to believe your idea is the first step. Once you success of doing his, you can change everyone's mind. If you wanna change others, change your negative personalities dwell in yourself. You will only have the right to change others once you corrected your own negative characteristics.)

1/11/2010

BAD DAY!

In the Economics class~
The lecturer suddenly told us that next 2 weeks have a quiz...
And what I hate the most is...
It's on Saturday replacement class of Friday...
First of all,
I don't have class on Friday and suddenly u call me come back for Friday replacement class on Saturday??
What the HELL??
You gotta be kidding me!!
And I hate the sarcasm,
"It's only 7.5marks.."
SIGH!!
The 2nd thing what i hate in my life...
I hate people ruin my schedule that i had made....
It's okay... 
because of that stupid 7.5marks i have to come back...
7.5marks is the incentive, no choice...
I have to sacrifice my Friday Saturday!!
Never mind fine!!

Think bout next week,
Friday, i cant go back because of prom night again...
DAMN IT!!
Why all of this come altogether?
I was encouraged to go to that prom~
But I don't like the reason of....
Handsome guys and pretty gals?
I'm sorry...
Currently I'm not interested...
When i said it,
I MEAN it....
When you said this,
I tell you...
I know you said it out with kind-heart and good-will, as a joke to encourage me to go,
but you never consider what I would feel when you said that out...
Your words at the moment 
broke my heart.
I understand the purpose of doing this..
I know you want me to take it as a joke so that to be encourage to go...
It didn't give me any willingness to go...
It just made me feel I'm stupid..
Putting a bad example of a guy on me...
Making me thought that I am the kind guy who will go out and have fun with other girls...
But when you said
It could be fun..
My mood change... =)


The first thing i hate the most in my life is
When I said something serious, I hate people said I was talking joke, saying that I'm not talking with my heart...

Am I look like that kinda person who like to say without looking into my heart?
It made me feel that I look like I'm a big liar that is unreliable, only know to talk nonsense, cheat, anything negative attitudes that are describable toward a bad guy... 
Now i knew how hard it is to let one believes one's sincerity..
Maybe I am just not suitable of being honest.. 
(I was not in a good mood, you may see me as a person who likes to make small case into big affair, a person who is so sensitive toward a thing. Actually I'm not, I failed to control my emotion. So, I become like that.)

I really not in the mood...
Sorry if I wrote anything that hurt...
This maybe shows my immaturity, small gas-ness...
I become sensitive because it's all about you....
I blamed myself why couldn't I to be more reliable.
I should recall what I have done that caused my reputation on trustfulness, reliability and maturity...
Maybe you won't believe what I write...
Maybe you will thought that I'm making a small case into big trouble...
No matter how small it is, I care about it...



Let's call it a day....


(Please don't feel guilty or sorry or anything for what happen to me... I'm writing this just simply the matter of releasing the moodiness in my heart...Please just stay the same, stay who you are...)